I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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