after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize