"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drake has all the answers
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
