You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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