He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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