I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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