Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
