either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
