honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
