he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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