let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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