You really coming over, don't trick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
