I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
