Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
