Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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