that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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