its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
