you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
