My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
