Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
