i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My liver just had a heart attack.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
