your parents love me but you hate me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
