My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
