Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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