Pappa wants mamma naked
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
