She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
