You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
