Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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