I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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