FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
