A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You took a bar mat shot.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
