so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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