Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
