She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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