My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
