We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
