evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
