His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
