I puked a lego.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
