for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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