Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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