I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
