i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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