take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
