walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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