I cannot find my penis.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
