I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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