Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
