I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
