Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize