How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize