Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
