I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
