paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
