so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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