New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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