I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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