okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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