How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
