Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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