Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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